Wednesday, June 29, 2011

How to getta life in one sentence

"For your dreams you manifest, you must take action, for you to take action you must think it, to think it you must believe"
From The Daily Love

Saturday, June 25, 2011


Here are some simple and easy rules that I am just now realizing I have a hard time following:

1.  If you turn it on - Turn it off
2.  If its open - Shut it
3.  Not every statement - needs a response
4.  You DO NOT have to eat it before it goes bad - Its okay to throw food away sometimes
5.  Just because its on sale - Doesn't mean you have to buy it
6.  If it rings - You don't have to answer it
7.  If you get it out - put it up when you're through with it
8.  If it doesn't taste good - Don't eat it!
9.  Be patient - Everything does not have to be cooked on HIGH
10. If you see trash/clothes/etc on the floor - Pick it up


Friday, June 24, 2011


I've just recently noticed God is throwing pebbles at me.  They say, he first whispers, and if you don't listen, he will begin to shout, if that doesn't work, he will hit you with a brick!  I have recently had a brick thrown at my head regarding our finances. 

Today, I've been catching little pebbles:
"Ultimately - YOU have to insist on your own Happiness"  Cee Lo
"Go back to the Happiest moment in your life - Go back to that one day when you thought it couldn't get any better!"  Extreme makeover Weight Loss Edition.
"Put yourself in that moment and regain that hope for the future, the joy for the now, the dreams of how your life has just begun - Go there and grab it and don't let go!  Because this is the first day of the new WAY! "  me
My moment is on my wedding day when my soon-to-be husband is walking down the isle looking at me with the biggest smile on his face, glowing with the same love that I returned to him. This was one of the few times in my life when I knew I was doing the best right thing for me, and it felt overwhelming and Awesome.  I never expected to find a "Forever Man", but I did, because I deserve him, and he deserves me!

For those who have ever dealt with greif or Illness

For those of you who know me, you know one of my issues is battling this unending grief over the death of my mother 1-1/2 years ago.   I know I have to deal with my feelings (ALL OF THEM) to achieve the ultimate Vision Quest I'm looking for.  If any of you have ever lost a loved one to sickness or have watched them battle it out with illness, cancer, addiction, emphyzema or anything else, you have to watch this video.  It is so relateable to my feelings.  It is put to the music of Cold Play, the song is FIX YOU.  Check it out and tell me how it makes you feel. 

Thursday, June 23, 2011


Well, I hoped to have a pic of my newly clean kitchen on here, but I'm not quite there yet.  I have made some progress in the kitchen, and also alot of progress in the bedroom.  My biggest priority this week, is getting check stubs, bank statements, tax returns, etc together for the attorneys.  I'll have to post more on that at a later date.  Just can't put all the legal stuff up yet. 

Unfortunately, this gathering of paperwork, is an issue, due to my disorganization, which stops now!

I have also started another tool today.  I am only allowing myself to talk positively about myself - to myself and others.  No more calling myself a cow or a dumbass or a bitch.  Totally counterproductive thinking does not contribute to the final goal of Life Fulfillment.

If you like what you are reading here, please tell your friends to join (follow) me on my quest.
Check back tomorrow for more progress, more tips & tricks and whatever else spills out of my mind onto this page:)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Slapped with the Truth

When you live in it everyday, you - or should I say "I tend to overlook alot of the crap that surrounds me".  In looking at the pictures I have taken of my house, I have found there is no way to overlook the truth when its staring you in the face.  Here for instance is my kitchen - and it has suddenly become an item on the top 3 things to knock out today.

I am also trying a little trick, my friend Debbie, suggested.  Everytime I leave a room, I will take no less than 5 items out with me that do not belong and put them in their proper place.

I feel like by putting all my "BIZNIZ" out here, I will be held accountable not only to this blog, but also to you people out there and my followers.  Thanks for joining!  Check back this evening for a new pic of my kitchen and to see the rest of my activities.

The Goals

The goals of this blog (pick the ones you want or add your own):
1.   Get Healthy - lower cholestoral, blood pressure, and weight by 30 lbs
2.   Excercise regularly 5 days per week
3.   Get off of all medication except for vitamins and birth control
4.   Organize every room in my house and be able to lay my hands on whatever it is I
      need  immediately, knowing its exact location.
5.   Cook healthy tasty meals for my family
6.   Make money from writing
7.   Most of all find peace and serenity within myself
8.   Stop my head from spinning and eliminate 99% of the stress from my life
9.   Eliminate toxic friendships from my life and open myself up to positive people and experiences
10. Be & stay DEBT FREE
11. Move to Oregon
12. Surround myself with beauty
13. Increase my income, so I can live comfortably and travel if I want to
14. Be a non-smoker

Monday, June 20, 2011


What I hope to express initially through this blog is THE TRUTH.  Until we face the truth, we are living in denial, living a lie, and much of what we think we are hiding is already obvious to the people around us. 

I am 47 years old, weighing in at 180 lbs.  I am a recovering addict with 16 plus years in recovery.  My house looks like I'm trying out for Hoarders, and falling just short of getting on the air.  There is not a room in my house that is not filled with stuff, not littered with piles of clothes, papers, and even some trash.  I sell on ebay under the ID Julsberu, so there is also "inventory" abounding in all the rooms.  My house is a 2500 sft single story brick home.  I live here with my husband who is retired and disabled, so except for my little bit of online income we are on a very tight fixed income. 

I currently live in a small city (or large town) in Arkansas, so we have all the amenities of a city, with the small town feel of people who know each other and are very friendly.  The weather, however, is one of the outside influences pulling me down in my life.  There is lots of scenic beauty, but the summers are sweltering and miserable.  Spring is filled with violent thunder storms, hail storms, torrential rains, and straight line winds, along with the occasional tornado.  The winters are cold.  We have probably 2 months of perfect weather in total throughout the year with moderate temperatures, no rain and a bit of sun.  I will tell you more about me tomorrow.  In the meantime, feel free to post and tell me about you.

Join me PLEASE on my personal journey

I am starting this blog as a personal journey of life fulfillment.  I am inviting any and all who want to join and begin their own journey.  Together, I hope we can eliminate the negative, accentuate the positive, adding things that lead us to our ultimate goal, and getting rid of the old habits and routines that have held us back and dragged us down for so long. 

I am 47 years old, and I hear that the forties are the best decade of your life to that point, however, I'm still waiting for that magic forty fairy to konk me on the head before I hit my fifties, which I have heard are truly the best decade in a woman's life.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

How Didn't I get Here

I've been trying to get my life together for about 30 years, now.  What have I tried?  The list is long and laborious, fun at times, miserable at times, and basically each and every thing I have tried has ended in failure.  By failure, I mean, for thirty years, I have, for the most part, let life happen to me.  By not taking control, I have created the life I have today.

I have watched Oprah for 25 years, and bawled like a baby watching her last episode.  I have read Sarah Ban Breathnoc's, SIMPLE ABUNDANCE, I have a Vision board, which I will show you; I have read many of Oprah's book club selections, I even attended the show once, hoping a glimpse of the Goddess would make me well.  I have created many collages, taken pictures, posted them on mirrors, refrigerators and eslewhere.  I have read Cosmo, Good Housekeeping, O, Victoria and many other fashion, self-help, cooking and decorating magazines.  I have tried psychiatrists, counselors, doctors, mentors and a 12-step program (which got me off of drugs and gave me a wonderful husband).  I have watched every self-help reality show ever produced.  I have a library of spiritual fulfillment, self-help, healthy eating and "meditation" books.

I went to college, took classes, gobs of seminars - in person and on tape.  I have set goals and made lists, lists, and more lists.  I have drank gobs of alcohol, taken butt-loads of elicit drugs to make me feel like Superwoman, which seemed to be working for a few years, but eventually ended in disaster.  I have tried anorexia for about a year and was a very miserable young woman, I have tried plastic surgery, which was successful, but I have not held up my end of the healthy lifestyle to fulfill its potential.  I have been a member of many gym's, but the kind of member that the staff never recognizes, because I DON'T SHOW UP!  In fact I have a month left on my current membership, and have been one time to work out for twenty minutes.

I have weighed as little as 105 lbs and as much as 206.  I am now in between, but closer to the top than the bottom.  I have been very poor and lived in by-the-week motels on the bad side of town.  I have had a good paying job making over fifty thousand a year, while married to a man who was making nearly as much. (That's almost rich in my part of the woods - Arkansas).

I love organizational tools, and have spent thousands of dollars trying to get organized. I have hired "assistants". I even bargained with my husband about buying our current house, promising it would not turn into the near-Hoarders disaster as our last one. If we could just move, we could start fresh and clean.
I had dreams of becoming a millionaire by age 30, (then 35), of living in a ten thousand sft Mansion in Beverly Hills, of Travelling the world, of becoming a famous Best-selling author, of becoming an actress, of marrying a rich man from Dallas, but here I am in Fort Smith, Arkansas married to a man, 12 years my senior, who is retired, disabled, and currently in the middle of a messed up knee replacement surgery, who currently has no knee at all (a concrete "brick") in its place, and hoping it will turn out well in the end.  He can't do much for himself, and needs constant care until I get him back in the hospital for the new replacement.  I have a nice house, (which will be hard to see in the pictures, I will be posting on this blog), because of all the STUFF that covers it.  I am about 30 lbs overweight, with health issues, and take a list of prescriptions a mile long for everything from birth control to chronic pain.

I have 30 years of knowledge and experience in what doesn't work.  I hope to turn the knowledge into wisdom that I can share with you, and invite you to join me on my journey to my WHOLE LIFE MAKEOVER and QUEST for fulfillment in all areas of my life!